I Guess You Are A Match For My Crane Style
by amor-remanet
Summary: Jesse the Antichrist has some suspicions about the new kid at his school. Somewhat cracky; mostly silly, pointless fun. Oneshot for now; may get integrated into a forthcoming series.


No one else notices anything, but Jesse doesn't need to think twice about the new kid. He knows that this AJ Fell is a demon.

First of all, he showed up at Jesse's school at all. That's just weird.

Not as weird as someone finding his hide-out in Australia, but Jesse hasn't been there in over a year, now. Canada's got a much nicer climate, and they get snow for Christmas instead of thunderstorms, and having hunters in the town he Jesse doesn't have to deal with wondering if there are demons everywhere.

But still. It's weird that Jesse's school got another new student. Jesse was the last one, and it's not like too many people are clamoring to move to Beausejour, Manitoba. And if they are, then Jesse will look into it.

Nothing against the school or the town or anything, because it's great and the teachers are nice and maybe Jesse doesn't have that many friends, but it's better than being alone, the way he was after he left home. It's just ... he knows what he is, now. A Cambion, or however you say it. He's special, and he has powers, and they could be used for good or for evil, like in the X-Men and Harry Potter; he just has to choose for himself how his life's going to go.

And if the Winchesters were serious, then there are probably demons and angels and maybe all kinds of other monsters who know that, too. And they might want to try and get at him, and if they do, then the people around Jesse could get hurt. People who don't have anything to do with this, except for being stuck in the wrong place, just because an antichrist needed somewhere to go.

So it's really not about the school. It's about protecting people who aren't involved in When he enrolled himself here, when he fakes his parents' presence to pull the wool over some choice eyes, when he risked everyone else's lives because he needed to talk to somebody, Jesse made sure that his school got cloaked in every protection imaginable.

Sometimes, it makes his heart sink to do it, but he doesn't trust his powers alone. So he gets into people's heads, makes sure that no one notices the lines of salt he puts down — which AJ avoids like everyone else does the girl with mono — or looks for where he drew the devil trap things.

Secondly, and more importantly than all of that, AJ Fell wears suits. With ties. To school.

What kind of kid wears suits anywhere?

What kind of kid seriously likes wearing three-piece suits and dress shoes and ties?

And what kind of kid likes wearing those things to school, where there are all kinds of problems that could happen, and recess, and the occasional food fight during lunch?

Not that these messy incidents seem to phase AJ Fell at all. After every playground scuffle or food fight, he emerges unscathed — completely unscathed. The only time Jesse's ever seen him get messed up was when a pen leaked on his lapels — and that got him to curse up a blue string, with a bunch of words Jesse hadn't heard before and several that he knew were Not For Use In School.

Bloody buggering prick — bugger all this — and then a bunch of words that didn't exist in any language Jesse had ever heard of, at least not that he knew — bugger, bugger, shit, damn, this is my favorite jacket— And then another word Jesse had never heard before, snapped loudly enough that Mrs. Lefevre, their maths teacher, sent him out of class and down to the counselor's office.

Third — no, but, really why does someone have a British accent in the middle of Manitoba? It'd be weirder in Ohio or something, Jesse guesses, but this is Canada. A highlyFrench part of Canada. And aren't France and England supposed to be blood enemies over something or other from medieval history, and maybe Robin Hood got involved?

Jesse notices all of these things. And he keeps track of them. And he waits for AJ Fell to give him perfect, indisputable confirmation of the fact that he's not some international transfer student from London, but a demon, set loose from the deepest pits of Hell and intent on being Jesse's Lex Luthor, or his Joker, or his Draco Malfoy, or something.

Except, well ... a demon who wants to kidnap him and give him to Lucifer or whatever. Which would probably work with the Joker if Jesse were Jason Todd, but Jesse doesn't want to be Jason Todd. Jason Todd got himself killed. And if Jesse gets himself killed, the demons might do what they did to his Real Mother to some other lady.

Jesse thinks over everything he knows about AJ Fell when he's back at his house on the outskirts of town, accompanied only by Logan, his dog — a stray mutt he found when he first came into town, who followed him home — and his stand-in parents — really clever things, if he does say so himself. They were junked department store mannequins that he found in Winnipeg, but he used his powers to put them together again, make them look like real people, and they've fooled everyone at parent-teacher conferences before, so Jesse guesses that they must be good.

They can't help him with AJ Fell, though. And neither can Logan, though he surely tries. If putting his head on Jesse's knee and staring up at him like asking a question in class and all that really counts. Jesse thinks it does — and having a companion at his side makes it easier for him to think up possible scenarios for confronting AJ Fell about all his weird little tics. In one of Jesse's daydreams, he calls the other boy out at lunch, and a fight breaks out, and both of them get detention, but they're the only ones there so they can talk about the real issues at hand and not whatever accusation Jesse made up.

In another, he just goes to talk to AJ on the playground, but for the trouble of being polite, Jesse gets kidnapped and taken down to Hell. (He's got no idea what Hell really looks like, but he assumes it's probably a lot like the circus Mom and Dad took him to when he was five or six, or maybe like the one from Dumbo, which is still the scariest movie ever if you think about it, even scarier than The Exorcist, Jesse's certain of it, despite being a full fourteen years old and capable of taking care of himself.)

In a third, he and AJ get paired up for a science project. He tries to ask AJ about the demon thing; AJ turns out to be a normal kid from London who likes wearing three-piece suits and ties and dress shoes. Depending on the day, they become best friends after that, or AJ tells everyone that Jesse's crazy and someone gets him involuntarily put in a crazy house.

But in the end, AJ Fell is the one to make the first move.

He comes up to Jesse in the library, during lunch period. He's not intimidating in his advance — Jesse finished his lunch early, so he came here to read, and AJ has this all too casual air about him as he comes up to the table. Like maybe he followed Jesse, or like maybe he's been rehearsing different versions of how this talk can go in his head too ... except his rehearsals have probably been going better, and he probably has a director who actually knows what they're doing.

"I'm kind of busy, AJ," Jesse huffs, looks up at the other boy, and looks back down at his book. Stares at the letters, trying not to let himself will them into doing funny things — all he needs to do is make AJ think he's telling the truth and leave. Nothing funny.

"Word of advice, Little Prince Hell-spawn?"

Jesse freezes at the name — his hands tremble, barely managing to keep his book held up. AJ knows. He's prepared himself for this seeming inevitability,

"I have to hand it to you. In terms of rumors and reality? You don't disappoint on the stories about you. You're very bright and so on. Really, full ten for bravery ... but marks somewhat lower in the 'good planning' and 'smart decision-making' categories."

AJ chuckles and takes the seat opposite Jesse. The book hits the table. Jesse can feel his heart pounding, trying to claw its way out of his chest — but he keeps his lips together, tries to keep his whole face neutral. Unimpressed. The same way that real heroes don't have to show it when they get angry because the villains aren't worth the energy of an outburst.

He almost thinks to speak again, but AJ does so instead: "See, Jesse, the thing is ... Lying usually works better on creatures who haven't been bred for it."

Then, AJ's eyes turn blood red.

Jesse gulps. The color drains from his face. His eyes dart around the room, looking for where he hid a Devil's Trap, or where the best exit would be—

"Oh, calm down," AJ hisses. "If I wanted to hurt you, I'd be on a suicide mission." With a flourish of his wrist, he pulls a business card out of his jacket's inner pocket. "Name's Crowley. Dethroned King of Hell, former King of the Crossroads, acquaintance and ex-business partner of our mutual friends, the Winchesters."

Frowning, Jesse scrutinizes the little card. It says, in fancy (but understated) script, CROWLEY. Demon, Innovator, Purveyor of Curiosities and Magical Accouterments. And it even looks respectable enough that he could trust it, if he felt like being stupid — which he doesn't. So he looks the whole thing over for any sigils or spells, even hidden ones should make themselves

"... why are you possessing a kid?" Jesse finally manages to ask, snapping the card across the table, back to AJ, or Crowley, or whoever he is.

The demon shrugs. "The Man Upstairs has a sick sense of humor, I suppose." When Jesse asks what that means, he gets an earful about how Crowley apparently died, and went to Purgatory, and tried to take over the world from inside it — "But, of course, the Winchesters and their angel friends had to go and stop me. And now ... ? Now, I'm supposed to be redeeming myself."

"By possessing a kid," Jesse points out.

"Hey, if I could do it without dragging the kid into things? I would. But have you ever tried redeeming yourself of your past sins while manifesting as a cloud of black smoke? ... No? ... Neither have I, but I don't imagine it'd be an easy task."

Only one question of the several rattling around Jesse's brain is actually important, and he asks it slowly, trying to pronounce everything properly (and maybe manage some mind control, if necessary): "So ... what are you doing hanging around in Manitoba, then? ... With me."

"Let me answer your question with another question. Or, more of a proof with a question at the end. ... Truth the first: you are a lonely, adolescent antichrist with phenomenal powers — the ability to move the Heavens and the earth and rearrange the entire universe however you want it to be ... all with just a thought. Now, I am a disgraced former demonic royal, stuck in the body of a—"

"What's your point, already?" It's not with vitriol that Jesse hisses this, or with some desire to hurt Crowley — but the demon's nose starts bleeding out of nowhere, and in the pit of his stomach, Jesse has the sinking feeling he always gets when he doesn't use his powers responsibly. "Sorry," he says, "but I just ... what's your point with this?"

"Your bloody powers are my point, and the fact that you're doing well enough but still can't fully control them — as seen in my bloody bleeding nose."

Jesse mumbles another apology. He's not sure what he expects — violence maybe, or shouting to contrast with the respectable volume he and Crowley have had so far in this conversation.

Instead, Crowley smiles like the edge of a knife, almost smirking. "Child, have you ever seen The Karate Kid?"


End file.
